Internet Dating at JackfoundJill.com

I feel so depressed and unloved anymore I know what my problem is. I just don't know what to do about it. Or there's nothing I can really do about it. I'll try and describe my self the best way I can. I have no friends at all. I use to but we all just grew apart.They all moved and know i cant locate any of them. I'm sort of a private person. I'm very easy to get along with and I'm always nice to every one who's nice to me. I'm just sort of quiet and shy. Not all that out going. I'm not a happy go lucky kind of guy. My whole life I've always had these struggles. I was a slow learner back in school, had to take special classes. I'm not retarded or anything. Just was way below average in math, and well... almost all subjects... When I got out of school I started work because with my education level I don't think I could ever handle University or Collage. back in high school I never dated, never did drugs or partied. I was a good kid. I was very happy. In fact back then the thought of any one who would commit suicide was just crazy to me! I thought I was one of the lucky ones. I've been single my whole life. but about 5 years of it and im 38 know. I've only really one girl friend and that was my know ex wife. I only lost my virginity at age 30 The problem is, when it comes to social scenes and trying to meet women, I get very nervous. The other problem is, there's only cretin women who I have crushes on. This is going to make me out to sound shallow and I'm sure people will say I deserve to be single or what ever. but... I always fall for the real cute, model like girls. I've been on blind dates with women I wasn't attracted to and it went no where. In fact I'll admit, these below average looking girls probably weren't interested in me either. But the whole time I would be on this date, I couldn't stop looking at the pretty blonde waitress or some really sexy girl sitting with her boyfriend in a booth wishing I could be with some one like that. I don't think of my self as I'm all that and I'm a player, and I deserve to be with some calendar model. I just want to be happy... I just wish I could find some one I'm attracted to physically and emotionally and be happy with that person. And to be honest, its not just sex either. I really want to get to know some one and see if she has the same interestes as me. But so far I have never even gone on a date with any of the girls I liked because I didn't ask them out because I could tell they wern't in the least but intereted in me. so far... because of my lack of experience and low self esteem and not knowing how to read the signs.... and I'm not tall dark and handsome, dating for me is a joke already... So of course people are going to tell me to lower my standards and not try and date beautiful cover girl look a like models because these women are shallow and so on and so fourth. The truth is, there not. There only that way to guys there not interested in. Guys who they are interested in there not like this. We all are like this when there's some one were just not that into or physically attracted to. What's the point of being with some one your not interested in or your just with that person for the sex and that's pretty much it? I know for a fact I'm going to be looking for some one I'm more into so why even bother in the first place? I need to find a dating coach or some one who like me at one time couldn't get any where with women then got good at it and teach me how they do it. because right now, I hardly ever leave the house any more. I don't go out any more. I just can't take rejection any more. I'm also a very sensitive person. I mean when I get let down I get hurt real bad. Most guys just shrug it off. For me its not so easy to do that. So, I don't think any one on here can help me... I already know what most of you are going to say. But I figured I would give it a try...

wishing for love

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