Internet Dating at JackfoundJill.com
: My Blogs
_,
Welcome to my blogs page
| Jul 14, 2009 [04:36] | sydnialese |
Kaiden,
My sweet, sweet baby boy. I can never even begin to describe how much love I have for you. You fill me with joy and put an ease in my soul that I have never felt before.
I could move a mountain with all the love that is in my heart all directed on you. I will do anything for you. If you needed a heart I would give you mine. If you couldn't see I would give you my eyes. I would give you my ears to hear. Anything you ever need you have it sweet baby. That's how much I love you. I feel like when you were born you took a piece of my soul with you. I feel like we are one in a sense. You are my flesh and blood. You're my every wish come true. You will never understand how much I love you. My dad tells me that all of the time and he's right. I love you more than words can explain, yet I still can't understand the way my own father loves me.
Kaiden, I want to give you everything your heart desires. I will try to protect you from the things that will hurt you. I will try, but I am so sorry you will get hurt. It's the way life is, but I promise you sweetie I will show you and lead you to the way of a better life. God gave you to me. It's my duty to lead you back to Him.
I'm sorry I have been selfish. I'm sorry I haven't been there 100% emotionally for you. I remember holding you in my arms and both of us crying. It's been real hard for me since I gave birth to you. I wish things were different. I have tried though. I have tried so hard and it breaks my heart things ended up this way. I wish your daddy was here. I wish he wouldn't of chosen to become the person he is now. It hurts me so bad you don't have your daddy with you. It's not fair. You deserve him to be a good man and to be the father he is suppose to be. Both of our hearts are broken. I wish I could of prevented this from happening. All you can do is pray for your daddy and hope he comes around. Until then it's just you and I baby. I don't know what's going to happen in the future. Please don't be angry with me, for him not being around. I'm doing everything I can to protect you. I want you to see him and I want you to love him. When you get older and ask me why he isn't here. All I can tell you is his heart is somewhere else. Unfortunatly you will see the evil in this world and in the hearts of others. I will give this letter to you when I feel you are old enough to understand.
You are three months old and such a wonderful person. Kaiden I try to be there for you as much as I can. I always put you first. You are well taken care of. I am twenty years old. I am so young and I have a lot on my shoulders. I know this is only going to make me stronger. The path your daddy has chosen has broken my heart into pieces. I'm having a hard time picking them back up. I can do it, though. I can do it for you. I have to be strong for you. You are my son and I will do everything for you. I am going to finish college for you, so I can make money to support you. I am not going to date. I don't want to introduce any men into your life. I hope one day we can have a structured family. I also wanted to apologize for not being married when you were born. I wish I would of done things differently for you, so you don't have to go through this. You are so young, so innocent. It's not fair you were born into this situation. I'm really sorry and I hope you will forgive me.
Oh Kaiden you have so much ahead of you. I will be there holding your hand the whole way. Whatever you need you can come running to me. I will never shut you out. Don't ever be afraid to tell me anything, because I will accept you no matter what. Don't try to be perfect, because on this world there is no such thing. Everything is going to be alright. You are very precious to me. I hold you close to my heart and that's where you will forever remain. I love you so much baby, more than you will ever know. I can't wait for you to wake up so I can kiss you over and over again. You mean everything and more to me.
My love for you is stronger than love. It's so strong there is no name for it.
I'll just end this one with I love you baby and mommy will always be here for you.
| Children | viewed: 181 | Comments: 0 |
| Feb 26, 2009 [04:07] | Idaho Bound |
this is a song about a love struck boy (myself 5 years ago) that finds the perfect girl and doesn't want to give her up even thought she plays him and makes him go threw hell
hope you like it and i will have a video of it up when i get it all recorded
One Night In Jersey
the games your playing in my head
I just can't seem to find the end
I'm going to try until I fall
face down in the dirt I'll crawl
it's just one night in jersey
the games are over now
I'm going to make my move to night
girl you can bet I'm going to treat you right
it's just one night in jersey
holding hands I can't remember the past
but that don't matter anyway
because I've got you babe
it's just one night in jersey
you maybe rich I may be poor
but that don't matter any more
times are getting rough for us
but your smile is enough
it's just one night in jersey yeah
it's just one night in jersey
your going to drink your going to fight
what you say don't matter tonight
I'll grab your hand
I'm going to fall to one knee
it's just one night in jersey
my plane leaves in a hour
we better make the most of it now
feelings inside tell me to stay
but work makes me go
this hour seems like days
but I'm not leaving here alone
it's that Jerzey Girl got my head spinning around
it's that Jerzey girl I'm talking about
it's just one night in jersey
I just want my Jerzey Girl
| My Newest Song | viewed: 460 | Comments: 0 |
| Jan 24, 2009 [18:53] | kimscott37 |
hi, i am sassy, sexy, single, fun-loving, carefree, and christian!! i love to sing, dance, read, walk, exercise, go for long drives, and listen to great music! i don't want boring,stodgy or narrow-minded, uptight friends. Life is Joy, live it to the fullest!!! ...thanks for readi
| a woman to love | viewed: 645 | Comments: 0 |
| Sep 21, 2008 [00:29] | spider |
I found the pay for sites to be a BIG rip! I have found so many FREE Dating sites and more being added all the time. They make the money back from googgle ads and other sites. It does make sense my only problem I work so much I dont have much time to get online! LOL
| Dating at 40 & 50 | viewed: 891 | Comments: 1 |
| Sep 21, 2008 [00:16] | spider |
"I've Got Your Back!"
I am a small and precious child, my dads been sent to fight...
The only place I'll see his face, is in my dreams at night.
He will be gone too many days for my young mind to keep track.
I may be sad, but I am proud.
My daddy's got your back.
I am a caring mother. My son has gone to war...
My mind is filled with worries that I have never known before.
Every day I try to keep my thoughts from turning black.
I may be scared, but I am proud.
My son has got your back.
I am a strong and loving wife, with a husband who had to go.
There are times I'm terrified in a way most never know.
I bite my lip, and force a smile as I watch my husband pack...
My heart may break, but I am proud.
My husband's got your back...
I am a soldier... Serving Proudly, standing tall.
I fight for freedom, yours and mine by answering this call.
I do my job while knowing, the thanks it sometimes lacks.
Say a prayer that I'll come home.
It's me who's got your back.
----Copyright 2003 by Autumn Parker. Used with permission.
Please note: The author of this lovely poem was unknown to me when I first ran across it. I have since learned from a reader that it is a copyrighted poem by Autumn Parker, entitled "Proud!" It has been circulating the Web--and I want to give the author proper credit at this time. I hope that others finding it will do the same!
AIRBORNE!
| Poems | viewed: 790 | Comments: 1 |
| Jun 1, 2008 [01:51] | ALAN |
I feel so depressed and unloved anymore
I know what my problem is. I just don't know what to do about it. Or there's nothing I can really do about it. I'll try and describe my self the best way I can. I have no friends at all. I use to but we all just grew apart.They all moved and know i cant locate any of them. I'm sort of a private person. I'm very easy to get along with and I'm always nice to every one who's nice to me. I'm just sort of quiet and shy. Not all that out going. I'm not a happy go lucky kind of guy. My whole life I've always had these struggles. I was a slow learner back in school, had to take special classes. I'm not retarded or anything. Just was way below average in math, and well... almost all subjects... When I got out of school I started work because with my education level I don't think I could ever handle University or Collage. back in high school I never dated, never did drugs or partied. I was a good kid. I was very happy. In fact back then the thought of any one who would commit suicide was just crazy to me! I thought I was one of the lucky ones. I've been single my whole life. but about 5 years of it and im 38 know. I've only really one girl friend and that was my know ex wife. I only lost my virginity at age 30 The problem is, when it comes to social scenes and trying to meet women, I get very nervous.
The other problem is, there's only cretin women who I have crushes on. This is going to make me out to sound shallow and I'm sure people will say I deserve to be single or what ever. but... I always fall for the real cute, model like girls. I've been on blind dates with women I wasn't attracted to and it went no where. In fact I'll admit, these below average looking girls probably weren't interested in me either. But the whole time I would be on this date, I couldn't stop looking at the pretty blonde waitress or some really sexy girl sitting with her boyfriend in a booth wishing I could be with some one like that. I don't think of my self as I'm all that and I'm a player, and I deserve to be with some calendar model. I just want to be happy... I just wish I could find some one I'm attracted to physically and emotionally and be happy with that person. And to be honest, its not just sex either. I really want to get to know some one and see if she has the same interestes as me. But so far I have never even gone on a date with any of the girls I liked because I didn't ask them out because I could tell they wern't in the least but intereted in me. so far...
because of my lack of experience and low self esteem and not knowing how to read the signs.... and I'm not tall dark and handsome, dating for me is a joke already... So of course people are going to tell me to lower my standards and not try and date beautiful cover girl look a like models because these women are shallow and so on and so fourth. The truth is, there not. There only that way to guys there not interested in. Guys who they are interested in there not like this. We all are like this when there's some one were just not that into or physically attracted to. What's the point of being with some one your not interested in or your just with that person for the sex and that's pretty much it? I know for a fact I'm going to be looking for some one I'm more into so why even bother in the first place? I need to find a dating coach or some one who like me at one time couldn't get any where with women then got good at it and teach me how they do it. because right now, I hardly ever leave the house any more. I don't go out any more. I just can't take rejection any more. I'm also a very sensitive person. I mean when I get let down I get hurt real bad. Most guys just shrug it off. For me its not so easy to do that. So, I don't think any one on here can help me... I already know what most of you are going to say. But I figured I would give it a try...
| wishing for love | viewed: 985 | Comments: 3 |
| Nov 19, 2007 [16:08] | Newgirl |
I will give you a list of what I like and about me. Then maybe you cam help me with my profile?
:)
| Who has an idea? | viewed: 1140 | Comments: 5 |
